Life-isms

Married Mormon Girl Problems

Ok, it’s only one problem, but lately on Pinterest and Twitter people are into naming problems for a specific group of people. For example, “Skinny kid problem #477: The day you forget to wear a belt someone tries to pull your pants down.” Sometimes it’s funny. Sometimes I don’t get it. Whatever. It’s hot right now.

Married Mormon Girl Problems

#1. If you miss church, the ward assumes you’ve got morning sickness.

I had a cold this past week, and it decided to go from bad to worse on Sunday, so I couldn’t go to church. My husband told some people I was sick, but didn’t get the chance to explain to all of them that I had a cold. Undoubtedly, there are probably a few people now entertaining the idea of a pregnant Lindsey. Nope. No pregnant Lindsey. Just a coughing and sniffling Lindsey.

Once marriage hits, gone are the days of innocent sickness or strange behavior. The assumed reason for every ailment or oddity is pregnancy. You mention that you can’t get enough pickles lately, and suddenly the other person’s eyes bulge and in their mind erupts the word PREGNANT. You mention you’re tired. PREGNANT! You’re not hungry. PREGNANT! Your stomach growls. PREGNANT! Of course, it’s usually not said out loud. But are they thinking it? You bet.

Because we’re in a married student ward, pregnancy runs rampant throughout the ward. When I say rampant, I mean RAMPANT. There are babies everywhere. Don’t get me wrong, they are adorable. I love babies. A lot. The tiny-ness is absolutely irresistible. But I’ve figured out what happens when you love on the babies too much. People get thinking you have this unquenchable thirst for baby, and that this thirst can only be quenched by parenthood. Then they ask when you’re going to start having kids.

Maybe it’s just me, but I feel like this question is a little too personal. Beginning parenthood is a pretty sacred and personal thing, and yet this question gets thrown around so casually. I think the decision of when to start a family is completely between a husband, a wife, and God. Nobody else needs to know the details.

Maybe I’m wrong, but before God created Adam I really doubt anybody asked Him, “So…when are you going to start working on Adam?” Or, “You’ve been working on Earth for a while… aren’t you getting kind of Adam-hungry?” Regardless of whether or not He was actually asked that, it wouldn’t have mattered because God has a plan and a specific timetable for that plan. God waited until our earthly home was absolutely complete, then He took the next step and created Adam. He did things when the time was right, and not a second before.

In my mind, God’s creation of man is very similar to the creation of our own families. Just as the Earth was created first, a marriage must first be created. After the earth was created, it was filled with beautiful landscapes, plants, and animals. Every last detail was taken care of by God. Likewise, after a marriage is created, it needs to be developed and beautified. I’m not saying that a marriage should be perfect before kids can come along–people would never get to the point where they could have kids! What I’m saying is, there should be a period of growth. For some couples this period of growth might be years, and for others it could be 9 months. It is entirely up to the couple and God as to how long this period should be. We don’t know how long it took God to prepare Earth for man–it might have been a matter of hours or perhaps billions of years. But it doesn’t really matter how long it took; God took as much time as He thought was appropriate.

After the earth was prepared and the time was right, man was created–the masterpiece of all his creations! Creating man was God’s main goal and His crowning gem, but it required a process. Parenthood is the same way–one of the main goals in life is to multiply and replenish the earth, and it very well could be one of the greatest things we accomplish. But it requires a process. It happens when it’s supposed to happen. And that’s all there is to it.

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6 thoughts on “Married Mormon Girl Problems

  1. Just wait until your future baby turns two. Suddenly everyone is curious if and when your next one will be arriving. My first two are 3 1/2 years apart and the distance between my second and third is even longer. We don't plan when to have babies in our family. God does that. With me, he waits forever, lets me get pg, then I miscarry and have to learn hard lessons. The questions of "when are you having another" are excruciating. People really should mind their own business! Love, Emily Nielson 🙂

  2. Yes, I agree with it all. I just wanted to add that if you wear a loose fitting shirt or-heaven forbid-an empire waist, they also assume that it must be because you are pregnant. (Those things they REALLY whisper about, because there's no way to ask nicely why you're wearing that shirt.) However, this whole baby thing being between you, your husband, and the Lord-no way. It's all about having as many pregnancies as possible at the CFSC-so get on it missy! 🙂

  3. It took my sister-in-law and her husband seven years before they finally got their baby boy through in-vitro. People thought they were just way too comfortable in their lavish lifestyle. Little did they know how bad they wanted kids! I totally agree people need to mind their own business. You just never know what the situation is. It's such a personal decision and a HUGE step!! Something that definitely should not be taken lightly. I love your "aren't you getting kind of Adam-hungry" comment. That made me laugh out loud!

  4. I agree whole-heartedly that having children is a very personal thing! For the first 2 years of our marriage, we were just happy learning how to blend our lives together. Whenever anyone would ask us when we were going to have kids, Dad would answer,"We're just making sure that we like each other, first." That usually shut them up- ha, ha. When we decided that the time was right, nothing was happening. (More talk about "when are you going to have a baby?" – which at this point was not only annoying, but a little hurtful). After over a year of trying to get pregnant with no success – I tried fertility pills, which resulted in a pregancy that lasted for about 10 weeks before I miscarried it. Not many even knew that I was pregnant, so it was a sad and lonely time. My doctor advised us to wait 6 months before trying again. (Another hard thing!) Finally, after 4 years of being married, we were blessed to receive our cute & spunky little girl named Lindsey! It was worth the wait! I'm sure that God has his hands in all things and knows what is best for each of us. Trust Him and His plan – and use wisdom in ALL things!

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